A Typical Convo with my Co-Worker 3: Attack of the Salespeople
- Me: Oh no. There are people coming in with boxes of stuff that aren’t clothing. They're going to try to sell us stuff.
- Tina: Don’t they ever see that “No Soliciting” sign by the door?
- Me: I don’t know. Just get rid of them.
- Tina: Okay.
- (She leaves as a salesperson enters)
- Salesperson: (big smile) Hey there! Do you have my shirts ready?
- Me: Uh…well…um…
- Salesperson: I’m just kidding! I’m not a customer. I’m here for you though!
- Me: Okay…
- Salesperson: I’m here to show you some brand named perfume that we are selling today for only $25. What do you normally wear?
- Me: Hilary Duff’s With Love.
- Salesperson: Oh, well we don’t have any of that. What does it smell like?
- Me: Well. It’s kind of vanilla-esque.
- Salesperson: I need one of those.
- Me: Er…one of what?
- Salesperson: A steamer. I need a steamer. Might help out around the house.
- Me: Um…okay.
- Salesperson: So what kind of perfume are you interested in? How does this smell? Oh wait, what about this one? Which one is better?
- Me: That last one smelled really good.
- Salesperson: That was Britney Spears’ Crazy. I mean she’s crazy, but at least she smells good (laughs).
- Me: Right…
- Salesperson: So you want a little bit of the Crazy then? Only $25.
- Me: Actually, I don’t have any cash with me. So…I can’t buy anything.
- Salesperson: (smile falters) Oh, okay. Well, have a nice day.
- (He leaves and Tina pops around the corner)
- Tina: All of that talk for nothing, huh?
- Me: Hey, at least I wasn’t lying. I really didn’t have any cash. Not that I would’ve bought it anyway. I can get perfume for $7!
- Tina: Oh really?
- Me: Well…when it’s on sale. Hey, I thought you were going to keep the salespeople out!
- Tina: There were 3 of them. I talked to two of them, while he cornered you.
- Me: That’s unlucky. I thought he’d never shut up for me to say “no”.
- Tina: Yeah, it looked like you didn’t talk much.
- Me: Well, honestly, when he asked me “What do you normally wear?”, I wanted to say “Nothing. I just like the smell of myself…and my deodorant.”
- Tina: That’s one way to say no.
- Me: Oh!! Not to mention, he randomly mentioned his need for a steamer.
- Tina: What? Maybe he was just trying to make small talk.
- Me: What kind of small talk is that?? Not “How is the weather?” or “What are your plans this week?” Instead he tells me he needs a steamer! I mean, seriously, what do you even say to that? I know what I was thinking, and it was along the lines of “I really don’t care!”
- Tina: Wow. Just wow.
- Me: More than just wow. Holy WOW. And when I say “WOW”, I mean World of Warcraft.
- Tina: Nice one.
- Me: I know. By the way, I think I need a steamer too.
