Jealous Girlfriends
I’m one of those girls that always has a bunch of guy friends. Girls tend to not like me. I’m not really sure why. I remember having some girl friends in middle school that had a conversation with me very similar to this:
Girl 1: So has Adam mentioned anything about me?
Me: No. He doesn’t really talk about girls.
Girl 2: What about Ray?
Me: Nope. Him either. I just wish Chris would realize I like him.
Girl 1: Amy, you need to realize that you are more suited to be a guy’s best friend. Not a guy’s girlfriend.
Girl 2: Yeah, God put you on earth so that guys could talk to you about girls like us.
Ouch. Epic burn. Seriously, that happened. However, I’m glad God put me on earth for that reason. You know why? So I can tell guys what MORONS most of the female species are. As you can see, girls aren’t fond of me. What really gets me are the girlfriends of my guy friends. Girlfriends are the worst. I don’t know how many times I have been told the following:
Girlfriend: Stay away from him.
Girlfriend: He will never like you like that.
Girlfriend: If he had to choose between me and you, I’d always win.
Guy friend: She said I can’t talk to you anymore.
It’s really pathetic. Girls will go through great lengths to ensure that their guy won’t fall for their boyish best friend. “Some Kind Of Wonderful” isn’t everyone’s fairytale ending. Plus…well…I’ll just use another example to explain my next point.
Girlfriend: I know you are trying to steal Jake from me.
Boyish Best Friend: Ew. Jake? You do realize that he only takes a shower twice a week, right?
Girlfriend: I’ve noticed how you are always over at his apartment.
Boyish Best Friend: Yuh, we are playing video games. It’s actually hard to concentrate when you are sitting in a room smelling like moldy cheese.
Girlfriend: Oh just stop! Why can’t you just admit that you like Jake?
Boyish Best Friend: Because I don’t. I know so much about Jake that it’s absolutely repulsive to think about liking him.
Girlfriend: Oh really? Like what?
Boyish Best Friend: I know that he goes days without brushing his teeth. He constantly smells like sweaty socks. He “adjusts himself” every 30 seconds. Oh, and I know who he always cheats on his girlfriends with.
Girlfriend: What?!
Boyish Best Friend: Exactly. Repulsive.
Here’s my advice. If you are the girl best friend, tell the girlfriend to piss off. In the nicest way possible, of course. You don’t need to take their abuse. If you are the boyfriend, you need to realize that you are dating an uptight wench and kick her to the curb. And if you are the ohso jealous girlfriend, get a life that doesn’t involve you making others miserable.
Nerd Comment of the Day: Don’t be like Cho Chang. There was a reason why she didn’t end up with Harry Potter. She got jealous over Hermione’s closeness with Harry, and what happened next? Harry though she was CRAZY. My point? If you act like Cho, then you are just going to end up being an Asian-Scottish chick that can’t keep a man around. 
